Monday, January 10, 2011

A Madman is Driving my Life

Living my life is like sitting in the back of a car with a madman for a driver. I mostly know my destination, but never how or when I will get there. It's for good and for bad; I've experienced horror rides, thrills that pumped me with adrenaline, slow and boring ones and steady rides without any surprises or flat tires. I would be a fool to say that my life is dull: it's been a thrill - still is actually. Nowadays I'm reluctant of announcing my next "moves", wether it's about education, work, physically moving some place, travelling, anything. People rarely take me seriously, not because I don't go through with my plans, but because it usually seems like they're not leading anywhere. But if you scratch on the surface, dig a little deeper into the meaning of the things I do, then those who knows me will see that I'm really actually going somewhere. Slowly for sure, but still steady.

I'm not just gliding through life without ever thinking of settling down. For me, it just takes a bit longer than for most others. I could have settled down years ago; gotten married, produced a couple of kids, bought a house and have a steady job. But that's not me. Maybe I would have been satisfied for a couple of years, but then what? Roving around may seem to others like wasting time, but I see it as an investment for a more long term happiness. And this thing about settling down... I don't know if there is such a thing in my vocabulary to be honest. I don't see why it's so important to stay in one place for the rest of one's life. No, I want to continue to see the world even after I have a husband and kids. Those things are not obstacles. Surely it takes more planning to travel with a bunch of kids, but it's still possible, even rewarding.

Since I got back to Sweden last March, I've done little. I've been gathering some university points to add to my soonish Bachelor degree and freshening up from a pain in the ass illness that had be basically decked for all spring and summer. It's not until now, when I look back, that I realize how ill I actually was. Thank goodness that part is over. And now it's time to move on, take a huge leap to make up for a few lost months to catch up with my life. Sweden is great, but it's at it's greatest when you're away from it and realize how much about it there is to miss.

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