I've come to realize something, other than that I've come to realize a lot of things lately; during these past few years that I've been in and out of Sweden, moving here and there, travelling around, coming leaving... I've all the time expected life and people around me to run the same course as me. I've expected that things will always remain the same every time I come back to Sweden, that nothing important has changed, that my friends would still be my friends. What I haven't considered for some reason, is that people's lives go on with or without me. People move on, live their lives, evolve, grow up, change, even when I'm not there. So no wonder that I always feel disappointed and alone when I come back. I am alone. My best friends aren't my best friends anymore. They have their own lives, their own traditions and own families to tend to now. Time in Sweden has not been frozen, no matter how much I'd want it to be.
I think it's time for me to give in and let people go. I can't continue being disappointed, sad or angry at people for not being the same towards me as they were 10 years ago. I can't continue blaming them for having their own lives. It's just painful for me and a burden to them.
So, from now on, I'll create my own, adult life, too. I can still get friends, right? It's never too late for that.