The many questions
Being isolated and in solitude rises a lot of questions inside you, like why your friends left you when you needed them the most, how can you get them back or are they even worth trying to get back? How are you supposed to live a life without your friends, is it possible to get new ones? And if so, how? What do they really think of you, those few friends that you have left? Do they think I'm a pain in the ass or that I'm one of those energy stealers?
Those who left
People don't think like you. You would be very lucky (or unlucky) to meet someone that thinks just like you do. The first thing you need to learn, is that other people have their limits too, not just you. They may have their limits for different reasons than you. Maybe they don't have time for a sadass that never smiles or can go out partying with you. Maybe they want to help you, be there for you, but don't know how. Instead they withdraw.
Those people, however hard it is to loose them, are in your past. You lost your friends, for whatever reason, but in most cases it wasn't by choice. If I could have done things differently, I certainly wood. But I couldn't. I really couldn't. I was busy surviving and that was my priority. And to all my former friends: I understand. I understand why I had to be excluded, I really do. Everyone has different reasons and I'm sure yours were just as good as mine were.
Those who are still there, are worth every piece of gold there is out there. They will stay with you, no matter what. They have seen you at your lowest and at your worst and they have been there those days when things seems a little brighter. In my case it's my family (including Linda and Khalid), Anna, Frida and Jakob. Even if they're few, even if they live far away and you don't get to see or talk to them as much as you would like, they mean everything. These people are the key to getting out of this.
You think you're alone? Look again. There are people all around you that truly cares about you and wants to be there for you. Yes, I lost most of my friends, but so what? I have my family and they're not going to leave me. And when my strength is back to normal, what's stopping me from getting new friends? I can do that, I know I can. Maybe not now, but soon enough.