How Everything Changed

On November 27th, our beautiful son was born. It was without a doubt the biggest, life altering happening of my life. You can pretend and keep telling yourself that you're aware and prepared for what is to come, but it's not until the moment when you have that tiny, slimy person on your chest that you understand exactily how much everything has changed - just like that.

Gone are the days of worrying about yourself and gone are the nights of good sleep. All replaced by this enormous, undescribable joy and love for the fragile person that you helped give life to. Suddenly you're no longer just you, you're now a parent; completely and fully responsible for the safety and wellbeing of another person; a person that will (hopefully) love you unconditionally and put all his faith and trust in you. You're supposed to be that person that knows everything, can solve any problem and lead you in the right direction. It's not an easy task and certainly not something to take lightly.

The delivery was no an easy one and I wish I could say that it was the most wonderful experience in my life, like so many mothers seem to do. But (without revealing too scary details) after hours of excrutionating pain, the doctor finally decided to help out by using a vacuum extractor while 2-3 nurses were so kind and pressed my belly since the baby's heart started to slow down. A few minutes later a beautiful boy was born. I remember I had to ask "is that my son?" to understand that it was finally over.

Two months later I finally find the time and ability to focus enough to write this down. My son (I still find it strange and wierd to write/say "my son") is sleeping in my arms and my wonderful husband is cooking up some Sudanese fish dish in the kitchen. It's amazing to have your own family. Still hard to believe, but amazing.

My son. He is the love of my life and my greatest accomplishment. I'll give everything I have and more to make sure he always feels loved and safe.