Showing posts with label new life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new life. Show all posts

Monday, January 10, 2011

A Madman is Driving my Life


Living my life is like sitting in the back of a car with a madman for a driver. I mostly know my destination, but never how or when I will get there. It's for good and for bad; I've experienced horror rides, thrills that pumped me with adrenaline, slow and boring ones and steady rides without any surprises or flat tires. I would be a fool to say that my life is dull: it's been a thrill - still is actually. Nowadays I'm reluctant of announcing my next "moves", wether it's about education, work, physically moving some place, travelling, anything. People rarely take me seriously, not because I don't go through with my plans, but because it usually seems like they're not leading anywhere. But if you scratch on the surface, dig a little deeper into the meaning of the things I do, then those who knows me will see that I'm really actually going somewhere. Slowly for sure, but still steady.

I'm not just gliding through life without ever thinking of settling down. For me, it just takes a bit longer than for most others. I could have settled down years ago; gotten married, produced a couple of kids, bought a house and have a steady job. But that's not me. Maybe I would have been satisfied for a couple of years, but then what? Roving around may seem to others like wasting time, but I see it as an investment for a more long term happiness. And this thing about settling down... I don't know if there is such a thing in my vocabulary to be honest. I don't see why it's so important to stay in one place for the rest of one's life. No, I want to continue to see the world even after I have a husband and kids. Those things are not obstacles. Surely it takes more planning to travel with a bunch of kids, but it's still possible, even rewarding.

Since I got back to Sweden last March, I've done little. I've been gathering some university points to add to my soonish Bachelor degree and freshening up from a pain in the ass illness that had be basically decked for all spring and summer. It's not until now, when I look back, that I realize how ill I actually was. Thank goodness that part is over. And now it's time to move on, take a huge leap to make up for a few lost months to catch up with my life. Sweden is great, but it's at it's greatest when you're away from it and realize how much about it there is to miss.

Monday, August 30, 2010

A Secret Escape




Those who know me, even a little, also know that I'm not a person who can stay in Sweden for very long. I've said it before and I'll say it again; Sweden is wonderful, amazing really, but for me it's always at it's best when I can come visit while actually living elsewhere. And speaking of this "elsewhere". I unvoluntarily came back from Morocco in March this year. The plan was to stay for a month and then return. But then I got sick, and a lot of other things happening played its part to why I decided not to go back to Morocco at all.

I'm still sick. It's 05.26 in the morning and I haven't slept yet. My upper lip is swollen beyond recognition and as usual I'm worried that it will spread to my throat, which would mean yet another visit to the hospital. But, fact is that I do seem to get better. At least a bit. It's also possible that it's wishful thinking, but I really hope it's not. Either way, I can't stay in Sweden much longer, so I've started to plan for a secret escape!

When I get my student's loan, I will pack my books for school, some clothes, passport, camera and laptop (duh... what did you think?) and get on a plane somewhere south. I will not reveal anything else about this super secret location just yet, other than it's a place I've always wanted to visit and also had plans on doing so not too long ago.

I made Linda a promise not to go anywhere until Jamie is getting better after the surgery, and I intend to keep that promise. A promise is not something I give lightly. I'm aware that it might take some time, time that I probably need here in Sweden to get better myself anyways, but I'm already excited. 

For the thousand and eleventh time, I will start a new life.